Texting and shipping
by Sun Kasai
Summary: Leo decides to help Lili get the girl of her dreams. In a rather unusual way... Asuka x Lili with matchmaker Leo.


**Disclaimer: After doing so much crazy mind Yandere stuff, I thought I could try myself at a comedy again. Well, this is the result. The last time I made a humor centered story, the reactions were all positive. Lets see if this can work twice.**

 **By the way, this story is set in an AU. Anybody who has read the tekken comic may know about leos role as a bodyguard.**

 **Enjoy!**

Texting and Shipping

In the Lovely Country of Monaco, a young girl was currently being occupied with her cellphone. This was certainly nothing new to… ANYONE. However it was the girl and what she did, that made this moment rather unique. Why you ask?

This Girl was Emily 'Lili' de Rochefort and the Person she was texting with was her rival Asuka Kazama.

The duo had never been on that good terms with one another, however after the latest Tournament, Lili gave Asuka her Number, hoping her rival would eventually once call her for a battle with a TRUE fighter. Against all odds, Asuka actually texted Lili, even if it was about a rather difficult Math Equation apparently nobody else in her class knew how to solve and she really didn't want to do.

Anyway, after bragging a little bit over her Perfect Scores in Math, Lili gladly helped the Gang Mediator. From there on, the two texted more often with one another, becoming something like friends. Even if it wasn't quit what Lili really wanted…

"Hey Lili!" Lili was shocked at first about the sudden call, but soon relaxed as she saw her personal bodyguard standing in the door frame. Said Bodyguard was none other than Eleonore 'Leo' Kliesen, another fighter of the KOIFT.

Leo became Lilis Bodyguard over a month ago. It was more out of need then want. Leo was going short of Money and Lilis father was unnerving with his wish of getting his daughter a bodyguard. To solve this problem, Lili had invited Leo to the interview were the German amazed her father with her own fighting skills and quickly befriended him. Her fathers fascination with caves and archeologie helped a lot. Before any of them knew, the previously friend of Lilis had in short time become something like a big sister for her.

Sadly (or luckily), Lili is about to find out just how much truth lied in this statement.

"Hey Eli." "What are you doing?" asked the Kliesen and sat down on Lilis bed. "I am just writing with Asuka."

Leo sighed inwardly at the reply. This has been going on for FAR too long. See, Leo was one of the few who knew about Lilis crush. With Asuka being a mutual friend, Leo often attempted to FINALLY make these two admit theyre feelings for one another. So far everything Leo attempted failed. Maybe it was because they were too much into theyre rivalry for anything to grow. Now however they were in a more friend like position. To bad that Asuka was only reachable over the Cellphone right now.

On the other hand… this might be useful.

With a single thought, a wicked smile creeped its way on Leos face. This was really the last time she would be helping these two in love topics. If THAT wouldn't work, nothing could.

"Oh cool! Can I write her too?" Lili was a bit weirded out at that. Why would Leo want her Handy? She had Asukas number aswell. Eventually Lili complied and gave her Bodyguard the Device. Leo thanked the Blonde and began tipping right away with a huge smile on her face. For some reason this made Lili feel nervous, as if the German is about to do something of huge impact. Some minutes passed and then Lili couldn't helped but ask what exactly Leo was doing. "Say Eli, what are you writing there?"

The other blond in the room only happily answered. "I am asking what she's wearing."

"Oh, well then." Lili said hearing the answer. _"To think that she couldn't have written it with her own…"_ Then Lili started realizing the spoken words.

" _Hold up! What did the flat chested Lara Croft rip off just said?"_

Lili started thinking.

And proceeded to think.

Until… with horror and shock,

"LEO GIVE IT BACK!"

She understood.

The Street Fighter quickly lunged at the spelunker, who in turn started to laugh like a maniac and jumped from the bed and running through the room. Lili being quick in giving chase.

"LEO STOP THE BULLSHIT AND GIVE ME MY HANDY!"

"NOT UNTIL SHES REPLYING!" was Leos only answer as she ducked under a jump of her friend, even if this status was in the air for Lili right now.

This went on for quite a while, with Leo keeping the Handy always a little bit out of Arms reach, while laughing like an evil mastermind who just completed her plan for World domination and Lili screaming bloody murder at Leo and chasing her like her life depended on it.

As she finally succeeded in talking Leo to the ground, she was far completely in her anger tantrum.

"I'LL HAVE YOU FIRED LEO! OH CUT THAT CRAP! I'LL SEND ASSASINS ON YOUR ASS! I TURN YOU INTO KUMAS NEW CHEWING TOY! HELL I GET BRYAN F***ING FURY! I CAN DO THAT!"

The blond beneath her wasn't faced in the slightest by Lilis outburst. She was convinced that her friend would one day kiss her feet out of sheer gratefulness.

The duo was however interrupted by a symbol appearing on Lilis screen. It was the symbol of a message soon coming in.

Suddenly Lili forgot all about her plans of killing Leo and was entering a mode of panic.

" _Oh god! FUCK! She's replying! That can't be good! What will she think! Does she hate me! Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god!"_

Eventually Lili took matters quit literally in her own hand and threw the Handy out of the window.

Silence followed, as Lili started realizing just what she did and Leo being more then surprised of Lilis reaction…

Before laughing uncontrollably.

"YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT! HAHAHAHAHA! WHAT IF… WHAT IF SHE SAID SOMETHING COOL! LIKE… OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY THREW YOUR OWN PHONE OUT OF THE WINDOW! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

It seemed that Leo was going to pass out due to all her laughing. She was having WAY to much fun with this!

Lili on the other hand wasn't in a mood to laugh. Silently she climbed back into her bed and softly cried.

Leo immediately stopped after hearing that. She never intended to hurt her! All she wanted was that she would be happy with her new Girlfriend, maybe just laughing at the unnecessary tantrum. Now she just felt incredible guilty. Thinking about how to better her obviously failed attempt at Matchmaking, she looked out of the window. Then however she remembered something…

Under Lilis window was a rainpipe!

Leo stepped closer to the window. With a little bit of Luck…

Yes! There it was! Lilis cellphone right inside the rainpipe!

Climbing out of the window and onto the little ledge, Leo grabbed down and clasping the Handy tightly in her hand. Maybe if Asuka DID replied with something funny… this could cheer Lili up again. She opened the message and…

" _Oh…Oh my."_

Blushed as red as her Jacket.

Yes, this was DEFINETLY going to cheer Lili up!

Still sitting on the ledge, the bodyguard called out to Lili. "Lili… would you come over here?"

"Leave me alone." cried the Rochefort weakly. "Lili I am being serious, you WANT to see what Asuka replies." Maybe to crushed to actually care, Lili went over to the window and took the handy out of Leos hand. She then looked at the message… and soon the both of them were blushing enough to be mistaken as Tomatoes.

The sadness was pretty much blown away and replaced with a feeling of… well, how to you describe the emotion you feel when your long time crush sends you a picture of her underwear titled 'This and you?'.

Lili, still having to decide whether she was embarrassed or turned on, then looked at Leo, who wore the biggest grin she could muster.

"You know… I think it would be appropriate to take the threats of brutal murder from earlier back and replace them with a tha-"

Then Lili closed the window.

The now wide eyed spelunker, just sat there for a while, still not believing that Lili just really locked her out. She began trying to open the window, but it was locked. She then started shouting.

"Lili! Are you being serious! I just helped you win over your Crush and you respond with…"

She was interrupted again. This time by a shirt flying to the window and blocking her view.

Now Leo, who somehow had blushed even more, began to understood Lilis actions and while she still was pretty mad about being looked out, she was happy that she helped her friend.

But… how is she going to get off the ledge?

Looking down, Leo saw the Pool of the Rocheforts, the water as clear as ever. Seeing that there was no other option left, the German Jumped of the ledge into the Pool.

When she then reappeared out of the water, she just couldn't help but re-think about the last few minutes. She had one of her best friends given the urge to kill her, said friend then completely embarrassed and crying and then jumped into a pool with her clothes on,

All in all… a quite eventful evening.

But most importantly. Mission Accomplished!

She had successfully helped two lovers becoming a couple… and because of that she felt proud.

Even proud enough to make a pun.

"Welp, I am sure I am not the only one wet tonight!"

This was as well the day, were Leo found out there were Grasshoppers in the Garden of the Rocheforts.

Sighing and a little bit embarrassed that even the animals found her pun bad, the Bodyguard climbed out of the Pool and began to go dry herself.

"Geez, my Puns are even worse than the ones of this Blond anime girl. What was her name again? Yin? Well, I just look it up. "

With those Words spoken, Leo made her way inside, changed her clothes and announced to Sebastian that Lili would be coming later for dinner.

 **Well, there you have it. My second comedy. Did it make you laugh, smile or generally amused you?**

 **If so I consider my Mission Accomplished as well!**

 **Oh about accomplishing, to anyone who wonders when the next chapter of Lovesick Dragoness will come out I am already working on it. I just need some more time because I kinda wrote myself in a corner. But don't worry, it will come soon enough.**

 **Speaking of RWBY how would you all feel about a crossover fanfiction between Tekken and RWBY? Its just something that has been in my mind for some time.**

 **Well, Until the next story!**


End file.
